People are used to hearing fake empathy, so when you are being real, you might get labeled as autistic or having Asperger’s. And if you claim to have either, there are those who will argue that you being okay with it is disrespectful towards those suffering from it. And so on…
I witnessed this earlier hearing about someone passing and feeling I should say more. Someone I knew distantly. I remembered what was significant and mentioned it. I didn’t go into “I am so sorry to hear it” etc.
I felt obligated and when I feel obligated, I tend to just withdraw.
Empathy is based on how something truly hits you. Not how you react to it in the eyes of the audience.
So if you are told you might have Asperger’s because you’re not the only one saying “I am so sorry you had to go through this” when someone reveals something from their past, maintain your balance.
Your emotions will allow you to express what you wish to with those who have true empathy… not including those who are “known for their empathy” based on nothing else than what they say it, how much energy they force behind their words and how loud they express it to overshadow the other “mourners” in the room.
That is my opinion and my opinion only and I hope I have clarified how I came to it.
You can’t fake empathy within yourself, only on the surface whilst pretending it. Someone needing empathy will be too much in pain and need within, they won’t even begin to differentiate between fake and real empathy. They’re led only by their grief, shock, incapacity, at that moment. Being an expert in Asperger, who taught our family doctor what it is, set up the first ever UK Asperger web site, for Asperger parents and partners in 1999 and lived for more than two decades being the only person in my family of eight when all still at home, without Asperger, living in a sea of ‘Asperger pretend,’ as their daily lives of survival, force them all to do, l know they never can show empathy, let alone pretend it. Empathy is feeling, from within. Describing it to those without it, cannot help them be persuasive with a pretend version of it it. And to.anseer your question, Asperger, or no Asperger, your soul is no different to mine, and both will be judged by our own ability to understand empathy when finally our day of judgement arrives. God knows us better than we know ourselves, because He created us differently, and loves us differently, yet equally as much. Every parent understands these words, and none could pick one child above another that they have borne, like God, humans should never have favourites, and if they did, they’re not children of God. Pretending empathy to survive a confusing world on a daily battle of survival as Asperger’s all do, is different to pretending empathy as a lie, a game, a con to curry favour. God holds our souls, He feels every pain, every thought in them, be careful how you play Him!